4 friends + 4 days + Maine = 32 pounds of lobster consumed*

We searched out the best of the best lobstah haunts along the southern coast of the Vacationland state. Below you'll find our very sophisticated rating metrics (ranking our lobster roll favorites), reviews, breweries and more... 

*best guess, we ate a fu@k ton of lobster 

take a left at the chowdah, it says “Eric’s office” on the door”
— friendly lobster roll merchant directing me to the bathroom
Our first lobster rolling, The Clam Shack Kennebunkport.  

Our first lobster rolling, The Clam Shack Kennebunkport.

 

The Clam Shack

Perks: 1. LARGE chunks of lobster. 2. Mayo+ Drawn Butter combination-very nice. 3. Shipyard Export Beer, Pale Ale on draft (and others). 4. Decent view (no, we did not see the Bush's) 5. The best t-shirts in town "So Shucking Fresh" (shuck me, that's funny).

 $$$$ >$20.00 per roll (well, duh, we're in Kennebunkport). 

Voters: The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 8. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it a 7. The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 8. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a 7.5

 

The Lobster Shack 

Perks: 1. THE VIEW! Stunning 360 degree views of Cape Elizabeth. 2. Buttery toasted bun, medium sized lobster pieces,  lots of local ordering options-stew, fries, clams, nibbles...again, options. 3. THE VIEW. 

 $$$$ >$18.00 per roll + $9.00 stew +$2.50 fries+ $2.99 slaw (no beer), adds up after awhile...   

Voters: The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 8.6. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it a 7.5. The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 8.5. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a solid 8.

The view from The Lobster Shack...damn, right? 

The view from The Lobster Shack...damn, right? 

 
Red's Eats...dear lawd...it's a lot of lobster

Red's Eats...dear lawd...it's a lot of lobster

Red's Eats!!!!!!!!!! (and more !!!!!!)

Perks: 1. WE HAVE HIT THE MOTHER LOAD! THE LOBSTER ROLL THAT PUTS FEAR INTO ALL OTHER LOBSTER ROLLS...2. Over a pound, more like 2 pounds...idk (SOOOO MUCH LOBSTER), large pieces brushed with butter. 3. Toasty buttery bun, that held up (surprisingly). 4. This is the lobster oasis, go, now. 5. They are wicked nice too.

 $$>$17.00 per roll. FOR ALLLLLL THAT LOBSTER! They do have other options...don't care...no beer...don't care...drunk on lobster

Voters: The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 9.5. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it a 9.5. The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 9. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a 9. Why the 9's? Only because we had to pee in a bizarre porter potty. 

See how happy we are...you could be too

See how happy we are...you could be too

 
Harraseekat Lunch and Lobster

Harraseekat Lunch and Lobster

Harraseekat Lunch and Lobster 

Perks: 1. Bibs. 2. Fully functioning marina so you can see where your lobstah is coming from. 3. Many counters to order from...in case of busy business (that's nice). 4. Pie (didn't have room to eat it but it looked awesome)

 $$$>$18.00 per roll. Lobster was finely chopped compared to the others, not loaded up but tasty. 

Voters: We were all over the board on this one...The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 9. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it an 8. The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 8. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a 6.5. (I was still lobster drunk from Reds)

 
Allagash Brewing 

Allagash Brewing 

Let's take a little lobster break to talk beer... Maine has it...a lot of it. 

Check out  mainebrewersguild.org "Best Beer is in ME" This little nugget of a site is awesome, especially if you want to plan your beer consumption around you lobster consumption (or vice versa). Have breweries sign off on your attendance to win swag. There are also plenty of beer buses to hitch a ride on, safety first. 

Allagash Brewing is located in Portland-Riverton area, free beer tastings, the beer tasting is free, call ahead or check the website for brew tours and the beer tasting is free. In the adjacent parking lot are 3 other breweries; Bissell Brothers Brewing, Foundation Brewing and Austin Street Brewing. This is the place to kick off your Maine beer experience! 

 
Oxbow Brewing...coolest little brew spot this side of the Mississippi

Oxbow Brewing...coolest little brew spot this side of the Mississippi

Oxbow Brewing, located in the middle of nowhere (GPS took us down a dirt road, before the dirt road, before the dirt drive), is well worth the trip. Cozy cabin environment with lots of outdoor/indoor fun to be had.  Of course the beer is kick ass...duh.

I chased around some (maybe wild?) guinea hens, drank beer, pee'd in (another) porter potty, drank beer and dreamed of building my own little beer cabin in the woods...

 

Now back to our regularly scheduled lobster...

Dolphin Marina and Restaurant...yum

Dolphin Marina and Restaurant...yum

Dolphin Marina and Restaurant *slight detour from the traditional "shacks"...it was worth it!

Perks: 1. AWESOME! Delicious lobster roll, perfect amount of butter and mayo-served with tasty onion straws...but wait... 2. The BEST lobster stew, EVER!  3. The BEST lobster stew EVER is served with the BEST blueberry muffin EVER!. 4. Yep, lobster and muffin- it works, it's kick ass. 5. Beautiful views, sit in/sit out, have a beer-top notch 

 ???> Stopped paying attention to the prices when I had the muffin and stew. Give or take $20ish

Voters: The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 10!!!. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it a 9.5. The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 9.5. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a 9.5... Dude it's all about that muffin and stew! 

maine dolphin marina and restaurant 1.jpg
 
Unassuming and hilariously awesome...Welcome to Scarborough Fish and Lobster 

Unassuming and hilariously awesome...Welcome to Scarborough Fish and Lobster 

Scarborough Fish and Lobster...our last lobster roll, our best experience. 

Perks: 1. It's run by 2 (or more) campy, silly, old dudes (Grumpy Old Men 3 Lobstah Wars). 2. It is what it is...lobster roll-buttery and excellent 3. Right off of route 1, on the way out of town. 4. COST...meaning you can't get a hoagie in Philly for what you pay for this...A+ quality A+ flavor 5. That quote above about bathroom directions...it was at this place... Well done fellas. 

 ?> Might as well be free,  less that $13.00

Voters: The American Judge, Amy, gave it an 8. The Austrian Judge, Thomas, gave it a 10!!!! The 2nd American Judge, Alex, gave it an 8.5. The 3rd American Judge, me, gave it a 9. 

 
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